by Patricia Moloney DugasThe 2012 Draft – Opening Day: Begin with the parade of behemoths. 26 top picks are called to the stage – handsomely suited, tied, and socked, some with diamond earrings and Rolex watches. Qualifications required to participate: Six foot plus, 200 to 350 pounds, long arms, can run the 400, and can spell money. (When did long arms become an issue?) The larger draftees will become the new brain-bashing bone-crushers. The smaller ones will become their prey. But no matter – today we celebrate behemothism.
Round 1: The ESPN chatter pauses – Roger Goodell walks across the stage. Instead of cheers for this celebration, unexpectedly, loud boo’s follow him to the podium. Who are these clowns? The juveniles in the rafters they let in to give flavor to the event? Instead, they give out unfounded abuse. Go figure… As we give more power to the “fans,” more of this rude intrusion we will happen. They don’t know nice.
State of the NFL with the headmaster. Roger Goodell chats with Chris Berman:
- Latest on New Orleans Saints. Saints? Really? Their illegal activities on and off the field confound the rest of the NFL. Saints? Really?
- Bounty hunting, high up in the ranks – tape recording and other saintly activities. Players fully complicit in the hunting and trapping.
- Demise of the Pro Bowl? No longer up to NFL standards. (More crushing?)
- Rookie wage scale – no more bundles of boodle. Teams won’t mortgage the stadium to get these newbies to show up – plus they can freely trade!
Pick #3 Oh Oh… Hold on! A major unexpected trade! Yipes! Cleveland lands #3 from the Vikings! Rats! There goes the ballgame! Weeks of mock-ing down the drain! Trash your print-outs. Your mock sheets are now fish wrapping.
Chris Berman exclaims, “Buckle your seatbelts!”
Drafting Reprobates: A prospect for top ten fell to #39 because of him off-the-field. “He is a risk!” was the commentary on Junoris Jenkins – three arrests, drugs, etc. keeps him off the wanted list. “He’s great in the building – you just gotta keep him in the building.” A sad commentary. Don’t give me childhood excuses. These guys must keep their “eyes on the prize” while they are in school. They watch the NFL and know what is required of them to join the big show.
ESPN commentary remains crisp through a dizzying first round. The adolescents in the rafters were still howling and booing everything – all the picks and Goodell. On the other hand, the selectees were lovin’ & huggin’ everything – Mom, Dad, their own kids, then saving a major hug for Roger Goodell – like he made it all happen for them.
Best commercial: The scruffy rescue dog named Wego. When they call him, “Here Wego” he runs in, opens the fridge, and fetches them a beer. So cute. No Clydesdales needed here. Just pretty people and Wego. Message: rescue dogs.
Second best commercial: The Michael Jordan in-name-only guy. The middle-aged, balding and harried businessman – how choice! Hiding the champagne scene… hee hee…
When the Fall season gets under way, all this drama will fade away, so we wait for the Jets to open their season with Sanchez operating with a Tebow on his back. This will be the new drama – the New York hustle.
Will Cleveland can McCoy for 28 year old Weeden? Have the Peyton-less Colts added a suitable chorus for Luck, Andrew, that is. Will Dallas get better bodies for their new stadium? Will Peyton be able to silence Tebow mania? Will Bill Belichick’s clever selections propel him into another Superbowl? As a Bostonian, I am hoping the Pats will swallow up those fumbling, jumbling Jets. A little bias here…
So there you have it, my impressions on the start if the NFL Draft 2012. And we ain’t done yet. Stay tuned.
Pat Dugas – My blogs: Avidlyavidtennisbuff.blogspot.com
TheSocietalTamperer.com, PatricianExpressions.blogspot.com, Twitter @artrician